One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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