Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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