his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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