try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
