If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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