When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
