i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
