I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
