Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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