i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
