What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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