it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
