is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
