last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
