They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
