I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
