the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
