Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
