You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
