Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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