i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
