yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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