Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
