Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
