Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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