She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
