I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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