He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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