we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
