seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dear god my vagina.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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