did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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