What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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