I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
