when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
