are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
third nipple confirmed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
