No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's on the porch naked. Help.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
