Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
