But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
