he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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