Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
In America we eat man semen.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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