Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
