Having a random hookup so left but love u
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
