I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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