We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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