wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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