3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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