You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
foreskin is a definite game changer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize