She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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