only if we run a train.
done.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
