I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
