I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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